Stories

“The resemblances were so evident!…”

The biological mother of our 10 year old twins has always had a place in our lives. Although she had no face for us, her name was known to us. At a distance we have always been felt connected with it in a certain way. We have always had the belief that it would be important for her to know how it goes with her children. Because: You keep being a mother, even if you don’t have the opportunity to raise your children. The probability that she would live in difficult circumstances, it was very real. We wanted answer to our children the question that they perhaps ever would make us : «What have you done for her?».

Puberty can be a turbulent period for adopted children. There are often many questions and few answers. Therefore we decided to look for the biological mother of our children before their puberty. So the boys could have more clarity on this stage. That was a big decision with a lot of uncertainties. You start with this process but you don’t know how it will end. Not matter what we took this step of faith and belief.

Obviously, we have discussed this before with our children. They also felt it was really important to let their Colombian mother know that it goes well with them.  And they were curious about how it would go with her.

We hired Colombia Tu Pais. This was an intuitive decision. The subject matter of the website was very appealing. And they quickly proved that this was the best choice ever!

8 weeks ! after Gyna got our documents we had been called by Adry with the announcement that the parents of our children were found. This was a miracle!. We expected to find a mother, but to found also the father was an incredible surprise! Our family was growing!  We were all four very happy. Also because the biological parents were really positive about it. They realized very well that we, as adoptive parents  had taken the initiative and they were very grateful. They of course still loved their children.

We asked to Gyna if she was able to travel to their town and show them photos of the children together with a letter from us, and also if she could analyze their living situation. She did it very effectively and respectfully. It was a very beautiful and emotional moment for us to see the first pictures. The resemblances were so evident !! Finally these lovely people had a face! And honesty we can say that they’re gonna treasure this too.

For the children it was good too. They saw with their own eyes that they looked als their biological parents, for them were the pictures a still some sort of proof. «Now they can just say that they have two fathers and two mothers.» They don’t have longer to worry if they are still alive, or to wonder how they are doing. It is also good to see that the kids deal with it in a very natural way. They don’t have anymore the big questions about the adoption. They saw the photos, they were happy. The family were quickly spread because the grandmother and the aunt were also photographed by Gyna!Now the contact is established, and we are considering different ways to support the Colombian family of our guys!

simonannemiek@hetnet.nl

“Felt a weight lift from my shoulders…”

I was 38 when I finally gathered the strength and courage to attempt to find my birth mother.  The urge to find my birth mother grew as I got older and I decided now was the time to act.  I began to make plans to conduct the search myself.  All I had was the adoption papers, 1 year of Spanish language study, and a plane ticket to Bogotà.

About a month before I was to travel to Bogotà, I realized was in over my head and  I was ready to cancel my plans.  That’s when I stumbled upon Colombiatupais.com and a glimmer of hope began to emerged.  I realized I was not alone in this quest and, after a few correspondences with Gyna, the search was on.  I explained my situation and she did everything she could to do to work around my travel plans.

After several weeks, Gyna was able to find and make contact with my birth mother and one of my sisters.  To my relief, my birth family were glad to hear about me and, once I arrived in Colombia, they welcomed me with open arms.  My birth mother was finally able to open up about my adoption and consequently release the hidden pain she carried around for years.

I also felt a weight lift from my shoulders.  The old feelings of abandonment are beginning to dissipate due to knowledge I have gained.  Colombia Tu Pais offers a service like no other, a chance to bring closure to the adoptee and birth parent(s).  Gyna and Diego handled my case with professionalism and care that I’ve rarely witnessed.  I’m forever grateful to Colombia Tu Pais for their help and the very important role they play in the lives of adoptees and their families.

realm313@hotmail.com

“All her fears were gone…”

We would never have imagined that we would be involved in the search for the biological mother so quickly, but it was always clear to us that we would support our daughters and would help them in the search for their roots as soon as they choose to do it.

But, so soon? Our oldest daughter of nine years began from very small to worry about her birth mother. Although she did not know her, she was always in the depths of her heart. Every night before going to bed she prayed for her, even sometimes she could not stop crying feeling worried about her.

Despite all our love, warmth, understanding and good conversations, we could not stop her fear. Quell her fears was not the solution. Our daughter clearly said she needed to know if her mother was fine and if she had everything to survive. We thought that, perhaps, a photo or a letter from her would make her very happy. It would be a true test that could calm her, as her greatest fear was that she had died.

As parents we thought: we should act now, we should try to give her a little of security, so we decided to undertake this project and go straight to the search.

Our fear was not being able to give her that piece of the puzzle that she lacked. There was that uncertainty, and the certainty could be a long and very difficult way. The outlook according to the story of the mother was not particularly good, so we were prepared for disappointment.

Through our Dutch friends, who we met in Cali by the time of adoption, we hear about ColombiaTuPais. Our first contact with Adry and Gyna was very positive and friendly and after a tour for the website, for us it was clear that we would leave in the hands of CTP finding the biological family of our daughter Cristina.

The beautiful testimonies about her work gave us the peace and confidence we needed, and after her message, where she said that she looked feasible to search, our hearts were filled with hope.

It was Christmas time and then year-end, so after 8 weeks, the day of my birthday, I received a call from Adry from Holland. She congratulated me together with Gyna from Bogota. My first thought was what good service and how thoughtful they are! But they real gift was the surprise that they had found the birth mother and an older sister of our daughter! Also her grandparents, aunts and many other relatives.

That exciting call and the feelings that created us I can never forget. Just a week ago my mother had died. She always knew how much our daughter Crisitina wanted to find her biological family. Even before her death, she told our daughters that when she would be in the sky she would speak to God to help us to find their roots: «I’ll see what I can do in heaven for you Cristina!»

Our daughter is convinced that her grandmother with God arranged everything as her last gift. A beautiful interpretation of our daughter! A beautiful result! All her fears were gone!

Now we have contact with her family in Colombia by phone and by Internet, the first letters already are on the way!

From the bottom of our hearts we thank CTP for enriching our lives! Also thanks to our grandmother and our God in heaven!

steffi_juergen@freenet.de